Clinton wrote this …
Let’s dispense with the tired clichés and get right to it. Some people just don’t enjoy
the holidays. Or, they don’t enjoy the people they have to share the holidays with.
Sometimes the issues boil over at the dinner table, when food becomes the trigger for all kinds of highly charged emotions.
Cynthia Bulik, director of the UNC Eating Disorders Program, knows this. She shared stories with Tara Parker Pope in the NYTimes. From the story:
Dr. Bulik told the story of a patient whose mother scolded her for not eating her homemade cookies. “You don’t like my cookies?” she asked. As a result, the daughter relented and took a cookie. But when she then reached for a second, her mother scolded her again. “Do you really think you need another one?” she asked her.
Sound familiar?
Jonathan Abramowitz,a psychologist in UNC’s College of A&S and department of psych, offers these very timely tips (watch them here):
Remember, the holidays are temporary. If you have to survive by counting down the hours, or telling yourself with each fake smile “it’ll be over soon,” – do it.
Know what triggers your anger or sadness or anxiety, when they happen and how they make you feel; when you see them coming slow your thoughts so you don’t go from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds flat.
Put things in proper perspective. Does the gravy – or the sister-in-law, or your hair – have to be perfect? Nope.
Don’t obsess or try to control what others do or say, but you can change the way you think about something.
Limit demands and ultimatums; replace “should,” “must” and “have to” with “I wish,” “maybe” and “my preference …”
“When someone becomes stressed they’re experiencing an age-old, very normal reaction to the perception of some sort of threat,” Abramowitz says.
Go into an experience thinking that you’re driving your own bus, and enjoy the ride as best you can. You don’t have to expect to have a great time, but you can expect to come out on the other side intact.








Ginger wrote this…